Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Day 2-June 10th

  
         Yesterday was a rough day. We all have them, but it's good to recognize them. I think if we ignore them then they consume us and create more rough days. I'm happy I wrote through my frustrations; it released a lot of my tension. It cleared my head and let me proceed through the day without such a heavy weight on my shoulders. I was able to enjoy those around me without lingering thoughts in the back of my head. 

         Seeing H yesterday at Target was a huge high-light of my day. I haven't spent time with her in months and yet every time we are face to face we just pick up where we left off. She's one of those people that knows me so well it makes me nervous. I've known H for about 5 years now and we've been through a lot. She started off as one my employees, became my assistant director, and most importantly became my friend. She's seen me at my worst and my best. And I feel as if I've seen her at both as well. Our friendship is quiet, it's understood. There's no awkwardness, no competitiveness (which as a woman some friendships seem to have), we are just happy to be in each other's company. 

        Anyway, seeing H yesterday was a breath of fresh air. I find myself telling her everything. Things I didn't know I could admit out loud (I'm a private person unless you know me well) because it's not admittance around H, it's just me talking about life. She made me laugh because I was talking about life and all the adventures I still wish to go on she said ,"I honestly can't believe you're still living here. My sister was asking about you the other day and was baffled to hear you are still here." She says this because I'm a huge dreamer. I want to do everything and be everywhere- if only I could win the lottery! 

       A lot of my friends and family would want me to stay put. Not because they don't want me to go out and explore, but because I am loved. I don't mean for that to sound pompous, but there is no greater gift then to be loved. Sometimes with that gift is not wanting to let go- both you and them. Which is probably why I have stayed put so long. I don't want to leave them either. I have a large family and a great group of friends- leaving would be hard. I would miss out on a lot of big mile stones. I have a new nephew coming in August, a best friend's wedding within the next year, another best friend's baby due in December, and I"m sure my friend who just got married will be pregnant within the year as well. These people mean the world to me and I want to be there for them in all of their important life moments. But, I can't stick around to watch all of their lives move on and not feel as if mine is not.  Right? 
    
       But, H gets this. She knows I struggle with this. That I love my family and friends so much I quite often talk myself out of things to stay close to them. That's why she pushes me forward. She tells me to do what's best for me. I'm so fortunate to have a friend like her. I can only hope I am as good of a friend to her as she is to me. 

       So, today's Slice of Happy is family and friends. All of them. I am lucky to have such kind, compassionate, smart, and loving people in my life. If leaving them is my biggest struggle in life, I would have to say I have a pretty great life. 


     

   
   

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Day 1-June 9th, 2015


    Sure it seems a little "basic" to start my blog off with a quote, but damn it, this is my blog and I feel good about having it there. I hope it will help remind me why I have decided to take to this avenue of writing in the first place. Also, I don't expect anyone to ever read this so I feel a little free with my approach on writing. Plus, I'm not a neat and thought out writer, I usually just write what's floating at the top of my mind. Writing is therapy, a let go, and I fully intend to do just that.

       So, why start a blog today? Well I feel like I'm in a rut, like I'm having a mid-life crisis and I'm only in my 20s. Okay, well mid-life crisis is a little drama queen of me to say, but I'm just at one of those turning points in life. I look at Facebook (ugh Facebook) and it's hard not to compare myself to my peers. However, I have to remember that's the shiniest version of people. (I might be better off getting rid of Facebook.) Anyway, another thing that's got me in a flutter is I'm not sure if I'm in the right career path. I love my job, I think it's a great organization with a great mission, but it's the type of career where I could settle down in the same city for the rest of my life and be the person who's been in the same job for 40 years. There is nothing wrong with that of course, but I just don't think I'm ready to settle down in one city for the rest of my life quite yet. I want to see the world- experience all the wonderful sounds, tastes, sights, and people. I feel as if I'm on the verge of something. And I think that all starts with this blog.

       My goal is to get out of this rut. To do that I have decided to start by recognizing one piece of happy every day. My mind is too caught up on what I'm not doing, that I need to start focusing on what I am doing instead. I've already taken a few measures to make today a great day.

        First I decided to take a 20 minute work break and write this blog. Check! Next I decided I would contact my cousin in Hawaii and see if I could visit in the fall. I figured once I am out there I can take a much needed self-cation. Self-cation, my definition: a vacation where you have no cell phone reception or Internet connection and focus on what's around you and what's making you happy. Check! Then I emailed a friend and we talked about all the places we want to visit in our own state this Summer. We are making a bucket list of places we want to see and every day we have off together we will go visit, even if it's just for the day, even if it's a long drive. Check!

         Then tonight after work I will be hanging out with a dear friend who I have not spent time with in way too long, wander aimlessly around Target (because Target is absolutely one of my happy places) and catch up on life. And that's my Daily Slice of Happy for Tuesday, June 9th.

I'm feeling optimistic!